porn star - part 1

it was my first year of being an r.a. in college... in my previous post i wrote about a resident who deeply impacted me, and writing about my college years lead me to think of another girl, whom i became great friends with, and who changed me in ways that i hope to show here. although the story is one that bring me great sadness, her story is one that i believe, needs to be shared. i've changed her name, but that's all...
being that this story is one that is deep, messy, and emotional, this is simply the start of a story of my friendship with a porn star.

i was walking the halls meeting my new residents, when i came upon 'marie's' room. i knocked on the partly opened door, and after i heard a response of 'yeah, come in' that's what i did. i was young, and rather naive to a lot of things. and marie's room, was enough to send my brain into overload.
i smiled, and introduced myself.
"hi! my name is natala! i'm your new r.a." i gave her a little card that i had made, and some candy.
"great, dandy to meet you" she stared at her computer screen totally absorbed in something else.
i looked around the room, there were things that i had never seen before, till this day i am unsure of what most of the things in her room were about. there were posters of men and women wearing very little clothing, and signs that said "f- off" and a giant black poster with white letters that read "i'm a bitch".
"so what's your major" i looked over at her, trying to start a conversation.
"nursing" she replied very short, and looked very annoyed that i was there at all.
"so what do you enjoy doing?" i decided to take the liberty of sitting down on a desk chair near her, i didn't really care that she didn't want me there, i knew very little about her, and i had heard rumors around the dorm about her, and decided i would get to know her.
"i'm into porn" she said it as if she could have said she was into rock or into decorating.
"huh" i replied, unsure of what to say
"i mean that's what i do, i'm a porn star" she laughed and threw back her hair..."no one knows what to say, so if you want to leave now... "
"nah, i'd like to stay and chat, if it's ok with you."
"whatever, but i'm not really into chatting." she looked back at her computer screen.
"so are you working on something for a class?" i asked, knowing that at this point i was getting on her nerves.
"no, i'm trying to figure out who wants to f**** me more" she laughed, as if trying to figure out what was going to make me the most uncomfortable, so that i would leave her alone.
"oh, so how's that all working out for you? do you enjoy it?"
at this point marie turned and looked at me as if i had lost my mind.
"a girls got to eat" she stared at me for a second, as if she was trying to read my mind, she twirled her auburn long hair, and leaned forward on her chair.
"so, do you think i'm a slut?"
"no" i answered, and that's truly what i thought.
"yeah, most girls think i'm a whore"
"what do you think" i asked
"i'm a whore."

this is how my relationship with marie started.

continue reading part 2